Last summer was a progressive worsening of the love thing, then October 7 the last word has been written. For me it was very hard, just like two years ago, even more incredulous. I will write more about that, to remember, but not here....
The end of the great love of your life, twenty years together, only those who have experienced it can understand. It changes you. A pain that changes you. Right now I feel like Al Pacino in The Heat , I keep close anguish.
But I'm doing well , for the first time in my life I will have a house just like I wish, already bought it, and I will have my music, my colors , my time , my myself, who I have to find again. I'll be fine because for years practical Buddhahood . Maybe I'll be too busy until the end of February , when I will be in my new home and then from now on I will have a lot to do with contracts, jobs, offices, new walls and floors, moving house, furniture ... it will be beautiful.
But the pain is still so much.
I loved him, I believed in him and his words, I know I did right when I gave him another chance and now I can be proud of myself, but what can I do now with all the love I've had in my heart? where is it now?